With only one day left until Thanksgiving, Hooch, the 23-day-old mustache that sits atop 21-year-old Bobby Clements’ upper lip, methodically prepares for what will be
Le Humoriste: Funny to us
Corrupt Landlord Stops Laughing Halfway to Bank
Google Maps confirmed Steve Brenner was on the fastest route to the Tomkins Regional Bank when his belly-shaking laughter subsided to a light chuckle. Brenner
Lucifer to Step Down as CEO of Hell
After a 6000-year tenure reign, Lucifer announced he will relinquish his reigns as master of the Underworld. The long awaited announcement sent ripples through the
Kobe Bryant Purchases Rights to Air Bud
After months of contentious negotiations, retired NBA superstar Kobe Bryant has purchased the rights to the Air Bud franchise from Universal Studios and announced plans
Charlatan: Blasphemously realistic
Forlorn Dorm Plant Certain of Imminent Death
After being purchased from the clearance section of the Home Depot gardening section by a 20-year-old student named Melissa, Clarence, a small basil plant, was
First “Drop Out” University Established in Silicon Valley
Steve Jobs. Bill Gates. Mark Zuckerberg. These are just a few of the wildly successful tech luminaries who dropped out of college to pursue their
Lincoln Memorial Announces Renovations to Include Bar and Grill
On the 151st anniversary of President Lincoln’s assassination, the historic Lincoln Memorial has announced plans to add a bar and grill to the national monument,
Caveman says 'Hah': Good ol' dumb humor
Chicago Cubs Fan Can’t Find His Favorite Pair of Sunglasses
CHICAGO, Illinois– On Sunday, Mitchell Johnson, 52, was devastated when he had to attend a Chicago Cubs baseball game without the comfortable lens protection of
Tragic Pillow Fort Collapse Severely Injures Two
Bozeman, MT Tragedy struck in Bozeman this weekend when a supposedly ‘indestructible’ fort collapsed, severely injuring two children in the process. Erected by Peter Johnson,
Construction Suspended on Hole to China
Portland, Maine Only three hours after breaking ground, local ten year-olds Justin and Dan have announced they will halt construction on their hole to China until
I'm a Stranger Here Myself: Articles written past 1am
Job Posting: ISIS Public Relations Summer Internship
ISIS wants you (yes you!) to be our Summer 2017 PR Intern!!!
Please, Stop the Armageddon
Dear Regular Listerine User, Every morning I awake in a panic, knowing there is only a sliver of hope I will live another day. Looking
Local Detective Plays by the Rules
“Yeah uh… I guess I mostly just do whatever they tell me.” Justin Ramirez has an extensive Minor League Baseball card collection. He recently surpassed
Freshman Convinced He’ll Be This High Forever
The sun was just beginning to set as paramedics assisted Marcus Alvarez to an ambulance just outside Clara Dixon dormitory. The emergency; being too high.
The Common Friend 