Google Maps confirmed Steve Brenner was on the fastest route to the Tomkins Regional Bank when his belly-shaking laughter subsided to a light chuckle. Brenner assumed yet another round of laughter was soon to come, but instead the unthinkable happened. His light chuckle faded into a trying smile, and soon, the college housing landlord of 25 years, was solemn.

For the first time ever, Brenner was unable to laugh all the way to the bank.

After spending only 5 minutes at the bank, Brenner immediately drove to the hospital for a full CT scan to look for potential brain tumors.

Speaking to us from his hospital room, Brenner said, “I’m not quite sure how to feel. Taking student’s money and laughing all the way to the bank is what I do, it’s my livelihood. And when all of a sudden your livelihood is taken away from you, well it’s frightening.”

Though test results for tumors were negative, doctors found something far more unusual. “It appears the portion of his brain that is responsible for ethics has awoken after a 30-year coma,” says Dr. Vargas, Brenner’s physician.

When asked if he’d ever felt anything similar to what he experienced when he stopped laughing, Brenner stated, “There was one time at the beginning of my career when I evicted a girl who has just lost her scholarship and I felt a little similar, but since then I haven’t felt a thing.”

Brenner informed us that he has opted to undergo a lobotomy to remove the portion of his brain responsible for ethics. “Listen, in my line of business, I just can’t afford to have an ounce of morality. If I stop laughing on the way to the bank again, I’m not sure what I’ll do.”